The BMW R1200 GS Adventure 30 Year Anniversary Edition is big, has a scarlet-red saddle and celebrates 30 years of dual-purpose bikes by the Bavarian company. Jaco Kirsten though, wonders if progress is such wonderful thing after all.

If you ever end up in a wrestling ring with an opponent that tops the scale at a quarter of a tonne, who do you think’s going to win? That’s exactly what I was pondering behind the controls of the BMW R1200 GS Adventure 30 Year Anniversary Edition (the name is just as intimidating as its hefty weight).

And tellingly the test model was equipped with high-performance street tyres – which is kind of an admission by BMW that it is starting to become more of a big-tourer than something that’s at home in the really rough stuff.

The company launched its first dual-purpose machine 30 years ago, calling it the R80 G/S. Nowadays they call their dualies “GS”, although both spellings denote Gelände/Strasse, or German for “off-road/road”. So here we are now, with a beast that weighs 256 kg.

Do excuse my short history lesson, but it’s kind of relevant as the R80 G/S weighed a paltry 186kg – fully fueled up. Somewhere during the course of time a simple and flight-footed idea put on 70kg of lard. And yet, BMW has managed to sell more than 100 000 1200GSs (including the normal, slightly lighter 1200).

Like the porter rhetorically asked when he surprised George Best with a naked ex miss England in a hotel bed strewn with empty champagne bottles and pound notes: “George, where did it all go wrong?”

You see, most people would ask: “So, what’s the bad news?!” Well, George’s life of excesses spoilt what could have been. Just like the direction the GSA  has taken is a big departure from the purity of the original R80 G/S.

The world’s best touring bike, anyone?

But the point remains that the 1200GS Adventure, complete with stuffed aluminium panniers, is now so heavy that it’s hard to still regard it as an adventure bike. So what is it, then? Comfortably the world’s best touring bike, that’s what.

You can load it up in Pretoria and if you leave early, you can reach the Cape later the same day, without being sore or tired. If you take a day longer, you can even do it by dirt roads.

Because there simply isn’t any other motorcycle in the world that can do such long distances in such extreme comfort, be it tar or gravel roads.

And there are a number of reasons why. It’s the powerful engine that can hum lazily the whole day at 180 km/h . It’s the excellent ergonomics offering a well thought-out relationship between saddle (extremely comfy, thank you), handlebar and foot rests.

Then there’s the big fairing that blocks out practically all wind at above-mentioned speeds. Even rain only really hits you on your knees and possibly the upper part of your helmet.

The optional aluminiumpanniers are water- and dustproof and can be removed within seconds and carried along into the guest house. Or to be used as hande seats next to your tent. Or… to use as cooler boxes filled with ice. Seriously.

The technical side of the beast

The engine is still the very old, quintessential BMW design: A horizontally-opposed twin, also called a “Boxer engine” – because the two pistons “box” in opposite directions. But this one is a very modern exponent of the old recipe because it has double overhead camshafts and develops 82 kW of power. That is more than a Ford Ranger 2.5 TD…

Then there’s the electronis. Some complain about this, saying it’s the big bike’s Achilles heel. Which is true to an extent. But you have to admit that the traction control, electronically adjustable suspension (with the mere push of a button) and tyre pressure sensors are things that are still novel on two wheels.

The six-speed gearbox has now been refined so much that you forget how rough the BMW’s gear changes were as late as five years ago. And, of course, the shaft drive means that you can start drinking cold beer and building a fire when the other guys still have to adjust and lubricate chains at night.

Heavy matter

Every 30 Year Anniversary Edition model has been sold already. But apart from its sticker kit and red GS-embossed seat (which adds R4000 to the price), you can buy a mechanically identical bike. It is a technological tour de fource. An impressive engineering feat and formidable tourer. And the average person can ride almost anywhere on one. But note the use of the term almost. Because a quarter of a tonne, remains a quarter of a tonne. So unless you’re a very good and experienced rider, either you or the motorbike – or both of you – might get seriously hurt if you hurtle into the really tough off-road stuff.

Drive Out says: Use it as a gravel-road tourer and you’ve probably got the best motorcycle in the world. Try to live out some Dakar dream and you’re in for a nightmare.

Specifications:

Engine: 1170cc; boxer twin; air/oil cooled; 82 kW @ 7 750 r.p.m.; 120 Nm @ 6 000 r/min.
Transmission six-speed gearbox, dry clutch, shaft drive
Performance: 200+ km/h, 0 to 100 km/h – 3.2 sec. 6.1 l/100km (120 km/h)
Off-road figures: 256 kg, 33 litre fuel tank
Warranty: 2 year; 3 year BMW On Call road assistance
Service interval: 10 000 km/annual
Price: R197 050 (as tested – includes ABS, traction control, ESA electronically adjustable suspension, 30 Year Anniversary package).