If you want the guys from the G-Wagenklub to choke on their schnapps, says Reuben Heydenrych from Pretoria, you should compare the Mercedes-Benz Geländewagen “to that English (now Indian) vehicle which claims to be the best 4x4”.

Reuben’s first “4x4”, a Toyota RAV, was advertised as follows: “Think of it as Claudia Schiffer in hiking boots.” He soon realised it’s more Claudia Schiffer than hiking boot and decided to buy a real 4x4.

Not just any old one, but one of the legendary 4x4s. On a scale from soft beard to hard beard the Geländewagen shoots straight off the chart to “barbed wire prickly beard”.

Where do they come from?
The Geländewagen was a joint venture between the Austrian car manufacturer Steyr-Daimler-Puch and Mercedes-Benz to build a military vehicle. They started designing it in 1972, and seven years later a non-military version was also launched. (The G-Wagen is still used by armies worldwide.)

Although the G-Wagen has changed a lot over the years and has become more luxurious inside, the characteristic shape and unstoppable off-road capabilities have remained unchanged.

There are quite a number of models: short wheelbase, long wheelbase, three-door, five-door, diesel and petrol. I have a 230 GE, a short wheelbase model with three doors and a four-cylinder petrol engine.

G-Wagens are rare in South Africa: the boffins say there are a maximum of about 500 in the country.

The latest and most luxurious G-Wagen models are the tougher (and more expensive) siblings of the Mercedes M Class, like the latest G55 model (5-litre V8) which will set you back some R2 million.

What are its best characteristics?
It’s a fearless vehicle built for the toughest conditions, yet it is comfortable inside and offers a wonderful ride. The build quality is excellent (the same strict specifications apply to military and civilian vehicles alike) and I know of quite a few in South Africa which have done more than half a million kilometres.

Feel free to quiz the woman in the Golf who drove into my side at 70 km/h, about the G-Wagen’s build quality: the Golf was totalled, but the G-Wagen drove on, unshaken.

What do you like about it?
It has a sturdy space frame chassis with coil springs all round and it drives like a dream on Namibian dirt roads. Thanks to its front and rear diff-locks you won’t get stuck easily, and moreover, its ground clearance and approach and departure angles are excellent.

The short-wheelbase model has a small turning circle and it can crest hills even better than its long-wheelbase siblings.

With such a formidable vehicle you only have yourself to blame if you get stuck.
Moreover, it’s an old vehicle, so you don’t feel too sorry for it when you brush too close past a thorn tree.

Mechanically it is quite simple and it doesn’t have electronics which can let you down in the bush. It uses a standard Mercedes gearbox and engine, and many standard passenger car spare parts fit on it.

Its shape has remained relatively unchanged − even if your G-Wagen is twenty years or older, body panels are still available in the event of a Golf, for example, trying to panelbeat it.

The back seat is wide enough by far for three adults.

What don’t you like?
Its fuel consumption tops the list.

Unfortunately it has the aerodynamics of a brick, and with its fuel tank of 80 litres I can barely do 500 km.

I am environmentally aware and struggle to reconcile the gas guzzler reality of the vehicle with my conscience.

I console myself with the fact that my city run-around only uses about a third as much fuel per kilometre.

As it only has two doors, access to the back is difficult, especially for the elderly.
The rear seat is quite heavy to lift − surely the designers could have trimmed a little weight off it?

The engine is slightly underpowered for the vehicle’s weight of just over two tons. Should you want to drive from Pretoria to Cape Town in less than 15 hours it would matter, but if you use it for what it has been designed for (off-road and on rough dirt roads), the G-Wagen is so capable it doesn’t matter.

What problems does it give typically?
Surprisingly few for a vehicle this old.

During the 80 000 km I have driven it (I bought it six years ago with 230 000 km on the clock), it has only broken down once − in the city when the timing chain came off.

Modifications?
I haven’t made any significant mechanical changes − one does not interfere with a winning recipe.

I have only had spare parts such as worn-out suspension replaced and had a five-speed gearbox fitted.

Other additions are a cup holder in front, wooden drawers in the back to improve packing space, and a shelf high at the back for small items such as sleeping bags.

If you had money to throw around? An extra fuel tank would be nice and maybe a more economic diesel engine.

How much does maintenance cost?
It depends where you have it serviced. If you have it serviced at a Mercedes-Benz dealer, it will cost you a packet. Rather take it to a private mechanic who knows G-Wagens or Mercs.

Where have you been in your G-Wagen?
In Namibia twice (including the Naukluft 4x4 trail and Damaraland’s back roads), up the Drakensberg plateau near Hoedspruit, the Richtersveld, Riemvasmaak, Namakwaland, Ithala, Lekgala¬meetse, Baviaans¬kloof, the Marakele National Park, the Drakensberg passes near Memel and the Berakah trail near Parys.

On the way back from our latest trip to Namibia, my truck passed 300 000 km (it has now done 320 000 km) and is now well run in. There are many places still waiting.

Where can you go in it?
Almost any place with a gradient of less than 45 degrees. Due to its weight, I suspect it is not so competent on sand, but I have never done dune driving.

What is a comfortable cruising speed?
You can maintain 100-120 km/h on the highway, but if you keep it closer to 100 km/h, you will save a lot of fuel.

Fuel consumption?
About 16.5 litres/100 km, but fully loaded and with a roof rack, it exceeds 18 litres/100 km. Take pals (or compatible in-laws such as mine who make delicious food to boot) to go along on holiday and to help pay for fuel.

How much will one cost me?
I bought mine six years ago for R60 000. Nowadays you will pay double that amount. You can of course get the fancy, brand new G55 model at more than R2 million …

Who will you recommend it to?
Buy it as a second vehicle with which to go on holiday to distant places with rough roads a couple of times per year.

If you want a vehicle which truly can take you everywhere, and you refuse to pay almost half a million bucks for a new model which isn’t more capable off-road in any case, this is the vehicle for you.

If it were a celebrity …
Reinhold Messner, the first person to scale Everest without supplemental oxygen (he has also climbed 14 of the world’s 8 000 m-plus peaks). It is neither attractive nor a spring chicken, but man, is it tough and can it go mountaineering!